The Evangelical Spectator

How To Make Electricity At Home

First, you will need a bowl, a cup of sugar, all-purpose flour, two electric eels, a dozen lightning bugs and a blender. This recipe will make enough electricity to power your house. It's best to mix the ingredients first before blending. Taking care not to blend the ingredients before adding the cranberry juice.

After blending put the mix in a baking pan. Insert into a pre-heated oven 360 degrees for thirty minutes. When the baking process has completed removed the pan and apply chocolate icing evenly to the battery.

Insert plugs into the battery as needed. Or store the battery in the basement, garage for safekeeping. You never know when you will need electricity.

Bigfoot Found Dead In Tennessee

Bigfoot, also called Sasquatch, was found dead in Bristol, Tennessee. He was apparently coming out of the woods and was struck by a school bus. He was wearing fishing boots. He was planning to play golf at the country club and watch the Sopranos in the evening with friends.

The large, hairy hominid or ape, with the distinguishing characteristic of a 16"-20" footprint. Some suggest the beast is a relative of Gigantopithecus, an extinct primate of China, but no hard, factual evidence of a Bigfoot has ever been produced.

The elusive ape-like humans include the Yeren of China, the Yeti of the Himalaya mountains, the Yowie of Australia and the Mapinguari of South America.

Long live the memory of Bigfoot.

Born: c. 1811
Birthplace: North America
Best known as: Big, elusive humanoid beast of North America