The Evangelical Spectator

Alcoholic Drinks Named for Biblical Characters

There's the Saint Peter's Mint Tornado. Moses Martini, nice and sweet with a twist orange. The Gospels Screwdriver. The Scotch Saint Paul and the Holy Trinity with a stuffed olive. Jehovah's Red Monster. Mary and Joseph's Rum Punch. And King Solomon's Dog Tonic.

All can be bought at Bible Larry's in Knoxville, Tennessee. During the Happy Hour verses from Psalms are read.

Saint Peter's Jagermeister, Benjamin's Jack Daniels, Mary Magdalin's Grey Goose and Adam & Eve's Vodka.

Snail Mail

The snail seldom receives mail.
An occasional postcard at best.
"I'm so sorry for squashing your mother.
I haven't slept in two days.
Please look both ways
before crossing the sidewalk.
And watch out for salt. It's a killer?

Vegetables Keep The Devil Away

"You see this hear potato," said Vern Oblong of Bristol, Tennessee. "It keeps me safe from ghosts and goblins. And barking dogs."

Vegetables keep the Devil away. It's true. A bowl of green beans will save your life. Also asparagus. There's a real friend. And broccolli. It's got your back. Vegetables are man's best friend.

They also will improve the economy. And in a pinch, serve as great objects of art.

Doctors, Lawyers Working In Grocery Stores

The recession has hit hard in NY. Grocery stores in Manhattan have hired two doctors, three lawyers and seven brain surgeons.

Man Breaks Out

A man in Detroit, Michigan, got so hungry he ate the morning newspaper. He broke out in car advertisements, the weather forecast and op-eds.