Amazing Effects of Moonshine In The Bible Belt

"After drinking me a cup I wondered," said Marshy Millins of Bristol, Tennessee, "If I could walk straight. I felt a little tipsy. Like somebody was tickling me with a feather in the brain, you know. So I walked and dad burn it. If the ground didn't come up and hit me. The moon and stars whirled around and I heard this polecat playing a banjo, you know. He done made me feel sick."

"My whole body began to feel wild and crazy. They was flowers growing everywhere I stepped. And two cows tried to sell me tickets to University of Tennessee football game."

"And then it happened. I seen the Lord. He was standing right next to a Duncan Doughnuts. I swear it was the most wonderful thing I ever did see. I was so happy I could bust. Then I seen a woman with two heads. I knew her. It was my Aunt Trilly. How'd she grow that extra head, I asked myself. Then I seen something crazy. I seen a tiger running through the mall. I run from it. Help! I jumped up in the air. I could fly. I didn't know that. I flew over town. Across this field that was covered with foxes and rabbits playing baseball. Then I landed on my feet at the Dairy Queen. I bought myself a cone. Then I just kept on moving, shooting, jumping, running, flying, falling, and zooming around."

"Effects of moonshine on pregnant rats and their offspring I read somewhere was huge, you know. Dogs that drink moonshine don't wag their tails or sit up and beg, neither. They take to the livingroom and watch TV or sit quietly and read a book."