The Lord Has Sent Us Rabbits

When rabbits started nibbling carrots and cabbage in the First Baptist church garden Reverend Hinkley didn't know what to do. "They eat our lettuce, cabbage and carrots," Reverend said. "I don't know how we going to stop them," the Reverend said. "I mean the church doesn't appreciate having its vegetables eaten."

"How do we communicate with rabbits? We could pray. Ask the Lord if he could impart some commonsense to the rabbit. Tell the rabbits. Explain the church is off-limits. That the church has special rights. And rabbits shouldn't violate these rights. The Lord has reserved our territory, our sovereign ground. The church garden being a place of reverence, an essential part of the church grounds. A symbol of our faith. It being so glorious and beautiful. The rabbits should help themselves to someone else's garden. I'm sure there are plenty of tasty cabbage and lettuce and carrots just up the road."

"Prayer is always a good response in these dilemmas. Some years ago we prayed about the bear problem and we haven't seen a bear since. And I remember the blue-jays that nested in the maple tree in the front-lawn of the church. They made the most awful noise during Sunday worship. You couldn't hear yourself think. Then after praying about it, bring it up, merely mentioning it in passing, we never heard from the blue-jays."

"We need to get behind this just as we did the others. And as a congregation pray that the rabbits refrain from eating the vegetables in our garden. Tolerance between rabbit and congregation needs to be strengthened."

"This is a test. The Lord has sent the rabbits to test our resolve, our generosity and patience. It's a blessing in disguise."

"I think it's a message," Clyde Barlow said. "The church or a member or members of the congregation have committed a sin. And as a result the Lord has sent us rabbits to eat our lettuce and cabbage and carrots. What else could it mean?"

Within a few days the Reverend had received various explanation as to why the Lord had sent the rabbits.

"Did you see that necktie Billy Brewster was wearing?," Catherine Hopper said. "Ugly ain't the word for it. How could anyone wear that to church. Poke your eye out. And I seen Greta Paultz wear her sneakers to Sunday Worship. How uncouth can one person be? And did you see that hat Kitty McCall had on. It looked like she was wearing birdcage on her head."

Lydia Gomez suggested there too many in the congregation was more concerned with golf, fishing, ballgames and watching television and going to movies. And a few who didn't read their Bible as much as they should.

Tom Danicco, the choir director, blamed it on the congregation for singing poorly. "It's embarrassing." Tom gripped. "They just aren't filled with the holy spirit. Balloons, when you let the air out of them, sing better."

And the complaints didn't end there. "I seen Norman Street doodle on his church program," said Granny Hark. "Ain't that a sin? I think he was drawing a horse. Or something."

"And women with all that make-up and perfume on," said Gloria Empson, eighty-seven year-old grandmother. You gotta put a gas mask on to sit in church. Gimme some air."

And according to Luke Wells, "Some folks do things on Sundays they shouldn't do. Paint their garage, mow the lawn, trim the hedges, wash their cars."

"And I don't mean to make a big deal about it," Clarence Barlow said. "But ever since we stopped throwing horseshoes at the church I haven't enjoyed going as much. The Lord knows we love horseshoes. Maybe he's trying to tell you that."

"I can't say I know for sure," Sammy Gault said. He tapped the Reverend on the shoulder after Wednesday Night Prayer meeting and whispered into the Reverend's ear, "I seen six, maybe six members of the congregation yawning. Three of them dozed off in church last Sunday. That could be it right there."

Comments

[Patrick]

you are beset by rabbits because more of America's Young are being sent to their Death in an Illegal War